Lessons learnt in 2014


People say that when many boys are born in a year it means war, but when there are many girls born, then it means peace, so I hope 2015 will be kind to me. I can say, without any regrets, that 2014 was probably the worst year of my life. For countless reasons but mostly because I did not accomplish 98% of the things I had planned or intended to do. This was due to circumstances beyond my control. Things I had no control over. I was very sickly, the weather sucked and people sucked more. Yet, here I am. I made it. As did you.

I decided to compile a list of lessons (and facts) I learnt from this cruel, hard and unforgiving year that I hope will help me either achieve my goals or come to terms with those I have to let go of. It may make you cry, laugh, relate to you or none of the above, but it may be insightful and food for thought. People around the world, this one’s for you. Here’s to 2015, the year of A, Bee, C, Dee, everything in-between and Zo.

1. God laughs at man’s plans
2. The Devil is a liar!
3. Allow yourself one guilty pleasure a day and you’ll be happier and live longer
4. Never let the people who hurt you once in life have another chance to finish what they started
5. Extroverts exhaust me
6. I suffer from a mental disorder and it’s OK
7. I don’t have to feel bad for being a bit selfish
8. I need to love myself more
9. When life throws you lemons, suck the sourness out of them and make faces at Life, who’ll have no choice but to laugh at how funny you look
10. It’s OK to cry
11. It’s OK to be alone but NOT lonely 
12. I do perfectly by myself
13. It’s the little things and the joy they bring
14. I’m not artificial and only those deserving know this
15. If I don’t like you, it’s late for you. Unless you make a concerted effort to appeal to my better nature.
16. I blush when I’m around certain people and this makes us both feel good
17. I am naturally strong but sometimes I need to break down
18. Our fears really do limit us
19. I don’t care what you think of me.
20. Family sucks
21. Happiness is but for a moment
22. Nothing lasts forever
23. You just can’t trust niggas
24. Honesty is and will always be, the best policy
25. I’m more confident than I thought
26. I’m capable of letting down my guard
27. I’m a sucker for sweet guys
28. I’m a hopeless romantic
29. I don’t like being told what to do or how to feel
30. I hurt more than people will ever realize
31. Being selfless to the point of self – deprecation is a snare.
32. My half-baked degree will remain a sore point for me for years to come
33. I have a thing for guys who play musical instruments, particularly the guitar
34. I’m hopelessly in love with Les Twins and hope to dance with them soon (insert clip of me dancing to one of their songs)
35. I can dance. Well enough to make a living off it. Kwaaa
36. People wanna be around me or seen with me. Whether or not this is for selfish gains continues to baffle me
37. None of my dreams were realized this year. Good news is it’s not my fault (well, not wholly); Bad news is they’re begging to be realized
38. Eating like a man did nothing for my figure
39. I’m bordering on bulimia *insert snicker/snide remark*
40. John Legend makes me hopeful about falling in love one day
41. I love rock
42. I suffer from hectic insomnia and over-thinking – Chamomile did NOT work to aid me in my battle against insomnia
43. I can do the 30 day squat challenge
44. My sweet tooth is insatiable
45. Tolerance has boundaries
46. Certain people are attention-seeking hooligans who I have no time for
47. Teaching is my calling and I have countless awards to prove it
48. It’s OK to be sad, angry, depressed and even suicidal
49. This too shall pass
50. No matter what they say, we DON’T have all the time in the world

51. I lost my childhood – wait, that was Michael Jackson…
52. Forgive, forget and formulate a plan forward
53. Music will be the only thing that gets me
54. I’m a fantastic writer
55. I can count the people who have my back, no matter what, on one hand
56. I need to have more fun and go out more
57. Obsessive niggas. Ain’t nobody got time for that!!
58. You can read the whole Bible in a year if you’re serious
59. Knowing what I want but not getting it has made me question life and this need for ‘optimism’
59. Muvhango is a brilliant soapie that doesn’t get enough recognition
60. Frozen is the story of my life
61. As is Brown Sugar, Something new,…
62. You’re up today but down tomorrow. Life
61. Never make fun of a disabled person
62. Don’t judge a book by its cover
63. Knowledge is power
64. Don’t be afraid to take a risk
65. Don’t be afraid to ask questions when in doubt. Rather look a fool for wanting to know than a fool for not knowing
66. Money really isn’t everything
67. Love, on the other hand, is
68. It’s OK to be angry at God from time to time
69. Life is unfair
70. Beauty can only get you so far
71. Beyoncé is NOT, and I repeat, NOT perfect
72. North will remain the cutest celeb kid of this era
73. The world is full of good people. They’re just in hiding
74. Love never felt so good
75. Michael Jackson will never be duplicated
76. All the adults in my life are flawed as ef
77. People I started off hating are some of my best friends now
78. I’m a fighter by nature
79. Sometimes things happen for no reason at all
80. I don’t need social media to survive. I can go days, even weeks, without it
81. I love my own company
82. A woman who is willing to forsake her children, her blood, for a man who could drop her like a hot potato, is not fit to be addressed woman or mother. I personally strip her of both titles
83. Sometimes we have to fight ourselves to get what we want and most importantly, need in life
84. Blood is thicker than water
85. No one will have your back like a brother or sister in ‘times of distress’
86. Black people sing and dance when they’re suffering or depressed (check slavery, apartheid, price hikes etc)
87. There’s nothing like falling in love, though I didn’t fall in love like I’d hoped to (sob)
88. There may not be a song dedicated to me by name, but the fact that he named a song after a suggestion I gave, is as good as the song
89. Chatting to those who are lonely, scared and alone, could be the best decision you make
90. Love can be many things; it’s NOT one dimensional but rather multifaceted  
91. I hate selfish, ignorant people
92. You can learn a new language over the age of 82. What’s stopping you, youngsters?
93. The moment you stop caring about your happiness in relation to what others think, is going to be the happiest day of your life.
94. The day you find your purpose in life will be the most meaningful day of your life
95. Sharing is caring
96. Smiling takes less muscles than frowning.
97. You, me, him, her, we, them and others are all authentic, bombastic, courageous, decadent, electrifying, fearless, gargantuan, hilarious, impudent, jolly, kharismatic (yes, with a K and not a C), liberal, magnificent, numerous, opulent, politically incorrect, queer, royal, sassy, tough, unique, valiant, X-rated and zany creatures with so much more to show.
99. Even though we don’t see it or believe it, we are blessed in one way or the other. Whether it’s beautiful hair, a kind heart, a funny bone, a musical talent or a warm smile, we all have something to share with someone
98. I’m an introvert so sometimes I just don’t want to talk to you or the world.  Don’t take it personally unless of course I’m ignoring you on purpose, then, please take it personally
100. There’s that one person who ALWAYS looks forward to seeing you because when they see you, no matter how bad things get, as long as you’re around, there’s hope

101. There are only ever 5 people, if you’re lucky, who you can trust at any given point in your life
102. Surround yourself with people who make you feel invincible.  That way you’ll always achieve greatness
103. Karma IS real
104. It’s important to have at least 3 best friends, a family member, and two of the guys (cause we all know women are full of drama)
105. The worth of a person can be measured by how he treats the needy, poor, the disadvantaged and waiters and waitresses
106. If they weren’t there for you when you were suffering, they sure as hell don’t need to be there when you’re joyful
107. If they loved you genuinely, they would never purposefully hurt you or do you wrong
108. Sometimes all you really have is YOU at the end of the day
109. The person who is always there for others has been hurt the most and never had someone there for her
110. Life is so difficult which is why we need to be there for each other
111. No one should have to walk alone on this road called life
112. Rape victims should be changed to rape survivors (Shout out to Tumi!)
113. Rape is NOT OK. All rapists need to be castrated in front of the public and humiliated in the same way they humiliated the women they pounced on
114. Pride has been, and continues to be, the fall of oh so many friendships
115. An eye for an eye. The Israelites had the right idea of equal pain for equal sin
116. Forgiveness is not stupidity. Just because I forgive you, it does not mean that we are going to be tight or that I condone that behavior
117. The “cool kids” will one day not be so cool. Just wait your turn
118. Exercising does make you feel better and makes you look great, too, as an added bonus
119. There’s nothing like someone who gets your witty, sarcastic way of talking
120. For all the pain, suffering, anger, bitterness, evil, anguish, sorrow and wickedness in the world, there’s hope. Whether it’s in a small child’s laughter, a dandelion in the sun, a poem written by a 6 year old, an old couple kissing, an air balloon, a dip in the ocean, the voice of a loved one, the smell of freshly baked bread or the touch of a loved one, there’s hope. And a reason to live.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Beyoncé fan says:

    Number 71 tho….aaaah a lot of girls heart where broken when they read that.

    1. zols says:

      She’s amazing no doubt but we must be realistic. Nothing but love for Queen Bey

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